| |
|
Total
and utter control. Oh there's a loose one. Danger
here..... |
|
|
|
Week 2. Ronglish, More Essential Phrases |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Building
on last weeks introduction
to the high-octane world of football
co-commentary, our second Ronglish lesson features
three more invaluable phrases to impress the Clive
Tyldsley in your life. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 4.
early doors |
|
|
|
| Ron's
rather uneconomical alternative for the times when
he finds the word 'early' on its own somehow
doesn't quite get across the earliness of the
situation.
Ron might say: Well
United went one down early doors, but all credit,
those four penalties certainly got them back in
it.
Mrs Ron might say:
Sorry about your steak Ron, love. I've put it in
the oven early doors but I forgot to turn it on,
didn't I? Just one of those things, at the end of
the day.
Point of interest: A
DangerHere correspondent who has watched too much
football has said at a job interview: Well,
I've come out of college and I've gone into
telesales early doors.
Ronglish points:
******
Possibly Ron's
finest hour. A completely useless phrase
unanimously adopted by everyone in football, as
well as everyone at DangerHere Towers, and most of
the English-speaking world. Though sadly not quite
so ubiquitous that our man got that job.
|
|
|
|
| 5.
full gun |
|
|
|
Ron's
gangsta tendencies come to the fore with this
succinct description of a powerful shot.
Curiously, this is normally used only when,
despite the fullness of the gun, the brave
custodian manages to thwart the violent assault
on goal.
Ron might say: Blimey, Parlour's given
that the full gun, but it's gone straight down
Flowers' throat.
Mrs
Ron might say:
Bless my soul Ron, I've come unstuck on the M1
again. I'd just given your new Beamer the full
gun when the filth arrived on the scene. If it
happens again, they reckon I'm doing porridge
mate.
Ronglish
points:
*
No
takers on the 'full gun' to date, though Ray
Parlour is said to have been pestered lately
with unwanted attention from the piece-loving
Jennifer Lopez.
|
|
|
|
| 6.
little eyebrows |
|
|
|
|
The
rich visual content of the Ronglish vocabulary
is showcased with this delightful description of
a glancing backward header. Often used in
conjunction with 'second post'.
Ron
might have said in 1989:
It's gone in there, little eyebrows from Bouldy
and there's big Tone steaming in at the second
post.
Ron
might say in 2001, despite Arsenal not having
scored in this fashion for several centuries: The
Arsenal are great in these positions, Clive.
Just needs a little eyebrows at the first post
and big Tone will be in round the back.
Ronglish
points: *
Possibly
because of the sheer degree of difficulty,
nobody has yet attempted to pull off the 'little
eyebrows'. It's possible also that Andy Gray has
been deterred only because he can't get out of
his mind the anything-but-little eyebrows,
sported by Richard Keys.
Click
here for last week's Ronglish lesson.
Next week: Even
more Ronglish classics -
crowd scene
- amusement arcade
- tell you what |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
